Wow. Today's been so....wow. I'll just start at the beginning.
I've been reading through 1 Kings, watching as Israel deteriorates into a nation worshipping idols, a people who are steadily forgetting the God Who parted the Red Sea, defeated Goliath, and rescued them time and time again from their oppressors. God's people have split into two nations--Judah and Israel--and all of the kings of Israel are turning out to be evil. Finally, Ahab inherits the throne and becomes the most evil king of all. In chapter 17, the focus changes from only the king to the prophet of the time--Elijah. I've been reading about how Elijah prayed for no rain to come on the land for 3 years, how God provided for a widow who cared for Elijah, how God sent ravens to feed Elijah in the wilderness while he was hiding from Ahab, how Elijah raised the widow's son from the dead, and how God sent down fire from heaven to show the people on Mount Carmel that He is the one and only true God. After this last miracle, the people of Israel put all 850 priests of the idols to death. Jezebel, the wife of Ahab, is greatly angered by this, and makes it her mission to have Elijah put to death, as she has had countless other prophets of God put to death. Elijah flees to Mount Horeb, which is where my journal entry for today comes in.
1 Kings 19--God just did this massive miracle for Elijah, to bring Israel back to Himself, and Queen Jezebel wants to kill Elijah for what his God did to her religious institution (religious control=power). He runs in fear. "I have had enough, LORD." (v4) "I am the only one left."(v10,14) Overcome with despair, Elijah asks God to take his life. He sees not what GOd has done, nor what He has promised to do, just the peril of his position and the fear that stems from it. He does not trust God--Whose fire consumed a soaked altar, Whose power healed the widow's son and helped him run before Ahab's chariot--to protect him from Jezebel's wrath. He's still focused on the present, not the eternal; he fears being killed. How often this summer have I felt alone, forgotten, persecuted internally by the Enemy? I recently read a quote that says, "Do not forget in the dark what you have learned in the light"; do not lose sight of the Light when darkness threatens to overwhelm you, for we are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus, yes? When faced with trials, we sometimes become as deer in headlights, focused on what is immediately before us, forgetting entirely our surroundings, that we have the ability to dodge. We forget everything we know and have learned and just stare helplessly into the face of uncertainty.
God tells Elijah to go up on the mountain, removed from everybody and everything, any distractions other than those from within, because His presence is about to pass by. Great things come by--wind and fire and an earthquake--but God was not in any of them. God reminds Elijah that He doesn't have to do something huge and showy (like He did on Mount Carmel) to be present. Instead, this time He came in a still, small voice, a gentle whisper (v12). "What are you doing here, Elijah?" (v13). This hit me so hard, like God speaking directly to me:
I've been reading through 1 Kings, watching as Israel deteriorates into a nation worshipping idols, a people who are steadily forgetting the God Who parted the Red Sea, defeated Goliath, and rescued them time and time again from their oppressors. God's people have split into two nations--Judah and Israel--and all of the kings of Israel are turning out to be evil. Finally, Ahab inherits the throne and becomes the most evil king of all. In chapter 17, the focus changes from only the king to the prophet of the time--Elijah. I've been reading about how Elijah prayed for no rain to come on the land for 3 years, how God provided for a widow who cared for Elijah, how God sent ravens to feed Elijah in the wilderness while he was hiding from Ahab, how Elijah raised the widow's son from the dead, and how God sent down fire from heaven to show the people on Mount Carmel that He is the one and only true God. After this last miracle, the people of Israel put all 850 priests of the idols to death. Jezebel, the wife of Ahab, is greatly angered by this, and makes it her mission to have Elijah put to death, as she has had countless other prophets of God put to death. Elijah flees to Mount Horeb, which is where my journal entry for today comes in.
1 Kings 19--God just did this massive miracle for Elijah, to bring Israel back to Himself, and Queen Jezebel wants to kill Elijah for what his God did to her religious institution (religious control=power). He runs in fear. "I have had enough, LORD." (v4) "I am the only one left."(v10,14) Overcome with despair, Elijah asks God to take his life. He sees not what GOd has done, nor what He has promised to do, just the peril of his position and the fear that stems from it. He does not trust God--Whose fire consumed a soaked altar, Whose power healed the widow's son and helped him run before Ahab's chariot--to protect him from Jezebel's wrath. He's still focused on the present, not the eternal; he fears being killed. How often this summer have I felt alone, forgotten, persecuted internally by the Enemy? I recently read a quote that says, "Do not forget in the dark what you have learned in the light"; do not lose sight of the Light when darkness threatens to overwhelm you, for we are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus, yes? When faced with trials, we sometimes become as deer in headlights, focused on what is immediately before us, forgetting entirely our surroundings, that we have the ability to dodge. We forget everything we know and have learned and just stare helplessly into the face of uncertainty.
God tells Elijah to go up on the mountain, removed from everybody and everything, any distractions other than those from within, because His presence is about to pass by. Great things come by--wind and fire and an earthquake--but God was not in any of them. God reminds Elijah that He doesn't have to do something huge and showy (like He did on Mount Carmel) to be present. Instead, this time He came in a still, small voice, a gentle whisper (v12). "What are you doing here, Elijah?" (v13). This hit me so hard, like God speaking directly to me:
"What are you doing here, Beth Ann? How have you forgotten Me and My power? Do you not remember that I've promised to be with you always? I made the heavens and the Earth; I placed and named every star; I decorated the flowers and clothed the animals; do you not believe I'll take care of you? You're My child; you're living for Me, not this world or its expectations. Why do you stress out trying to meet all the world's demands? MY GRACE has given you all you need and so much more.
BE STILL and know that I AM God."
Then Elijah calls Elisha, and Elisha leaves, literally, everything to follow God's call, burning his past so he only has the future to look forward to (as Paul calls us to do in Philippians 3).
Ok. So I've been praying fervently all day for me to just be still in God's grace, reveling in the security I have in God's grace. I know that even if I know nothing about the circumstances around me or what the future holds, I am held by God's grace forever and ever, and even when I don't see fruit being produced all around me, or when I'm discouraged because the Enemy tells me that I haven't seen God "show up" in a long time, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God's Spirit lives within me, and we are in constant communion. After all these battles, I've come to a peace with the grace I know I've received.
THEN, what we've been praying for all summer came to be! All summer we have taught kids about Christ, invested in the lives of lifeguards and international kids, and have been praying fervently for salvation for each of them. Sometimes we get caught up in comparisons and become discouraged because, while we may scatter or water the seeds, we have not yet seen their harvesting. But today, two teammates and I witnessed a miracle of God in a place we least expected it--in the heart of a mission team member. Carlos is 14, and today he made a commitment to make Christ his Savior and Lord, and the angels threw a party in heaven because he is now a member of the family of God! Two of my teammates and I talked with him today about what following Christ looks like, what His sacrifice means, and he prayed to make Christ the boss of his life! It was so awesome; the words weren't ours, they were God's drawing His son to Himself. My God is so good! So awesome and mighty, yet so good and loving and full of grace! Praise Him with me today, and be content to just sit and His feet and learn.
So what am I doing here? I am here to serve my God and make disciples, to grow in the grace and knowledge of my Lord Jesus Christ, and to encourage believers around me to do the same. I am here to give all my praise, all the glory, all the honor to the Creator of the Universe, the Savior of the world. I am here to make a joyful noise unto the Lord, and to offer a sacrifice of praise in any and every situation, and to remember that NOTHING is impossible with God!
"Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations; I will be exalted in the earth!"
Ps. 46
Loved this, Beth Ann. Thanks for the encouragement.
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