Two Saturdays ago, a friend and I tried to go out to We Will Go in Jackson, but we got lost and ended up going to the nature center in Clinton instead. It was relaxing to just walk around in God's creation and talk with her, sharing what had been on our hearts lately about mentoring and youth ministry and fun stuff like that. :) So incredible! That weekend, my world was turned upside down. My roommate went to the ER, I about had a panic attack, I played the offertory with my best friend in church, I changed my major (finally--Jesus had been telling me to since APRIL!), and God put someone in my life that has become the big sister I never had. Without her leadership and comfort, I would have gone crazy that weekend. I was terrified because I hadn't heard from my roommate in over 14 hours. I knew that she had gone to the ER, but I didn't know where or who took her or what was wrong. Thankfully, Jesus calmed my nerves through some prayer by that same amazing individual and our BSU's singing group. The name, Surrender, is very fitting here. :) That night, I learned what true fear feels like, and how freeing it is to surrender thoughts, fears, and worries to my King who has endured more than anything that will ever come my way. Seriously. He took on every sin (past, present, and future) AND the wrath of God in relation to all of those sins (PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE!). And I complain?
Anyway, that week, I visited my roommate in the hospital, dropped a class, and resolved to FINALLY change my major. Basically, I'm tired of being Jonah. I don't know what God has planned in my life, but I have known for almost a year that it is not premedical chemistry. So I'm flying blind. Lesson here: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him." (1Cor2:9)
That next weekend was our church's DNow. The theme was "The Amazing Race," and throughout the weekend, the youth learned about characters in the Bible that ran the race that God had marked out for them, whether they began that way or not. Jonah, David, Elijah, etc. All of these were powerful men of God that ultimately followed the plan that God had made for them before time began and ran it with all they had, ultimately leading people to glorify God as almighty. Sammy challenged the church with the charge to not stay silent like the people on Elijah's mountain who went from being silent to falling before God saying, "The LORD--He is God! The LORD--He is God!" (1Kings18:39) How often are we quiet as people ask us what we believe, as we are asked to stand up for our faith, as we are faced with a decision to live for Christ or fulfill our own desires? Why are we silent? It took a miracle to stimulate the people to declare YHWH as God. Just like them, our generation is very much a seeing-is-believing people. In Matthew, Jesus tells the crowds that because they are demanding a sign, they will see nothing because they just want a show. When will we refuse to ask Jesus simply for proof that He is ultimate and sovereign and believe on faith? "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." (Heb11:1)
Anyway....now that I've chased that rabbit (which totally spoke to me just now), I'll get to what I actually learned that weekend. At my summer missions interview, they asked me what my favorite area of ministry was. I had no clue. When applying for summer missions, my mindset was just to go somewhere, I didn't care where I went or what I was going to do, I just wanted to go serve my God. Well, I found out the next day. When I first found out that I wasn't going to lead a small group for DNow, I was very disappointed. Working at DNow was something I had been looking forward to since like eighth grade. However, God had bigger and better plans for me....I ran camera. By doing that, I had the best job at DNow, I think. I got to hang out with everybody, go to all the host homes, harass my friends with a video camera, run recreation with the eighth grade girls (told you God's plan was better than my own) and spend time with the best youth group on the face of the planet. I fell in love with my youth group all over again, and suddenly, I realized how hard it would be for me to leave them and Clinton for the whole summer. I had found my two favorite areas of ministry--youth and media. :)
At the beginning of this week, I was plagued with doubt about whether or not I was actually called to summer missions this summer. I began to question my motives for applying, my reasons for choosing the projects I did, etc. Finally, I just gave it to God. I knew that wherever I was appointed (or even if they told me to stay home), God designed it and I would end up wherever He had planned for me to be. So on Tuesday, when I got my assignment (to MARYLAND!!!! :D), I had an "even-the-rocks-will-cry-out" moment. I was so excited, so filled with joy and a "peace...which transcends all understanding" (Phil4:7) that I couldn't even say the project out loud when people asked me where I had been appointed. My heart was screaming it, rejoicing in a way I've never experienced before, and I could hardly understand how others couldn't just hear my thoughts, read my mind. But......I'M GOING TO MARYLAND!!! June 6-August 6!! :D SOOOO excited!
Also, my roommate had tests done this past week, and I've finally given that worry and wondering to Christ. My Big got engaged yesterday!!! And this is a new week. New experiences, new days, new lessons. Like in the parable of the builders, the rain will most definitely come, but my life is built on a Rock that can never be moved or shaken. I can only hope that my life can be a letter to Him that gives Him all glory. There's no telling what He's gonna do next.
Every once in awhile, I make a list of my blessings. I feel that is appropriate here.
-I am saved by grace.
-God has given me some pretty incredible people in my life. A mentor, three best friends, a practically-big-sister, my Big, an awesome little sister, etc.
-Even though I mess up a lot and pass up too many opportunities, my God is sovereign and can work through all of my "problems."
-Um, my God can do anything. Absolutely anything. Especially stuff that we can't even imagine. He is definitely alive. So alive. :)
-I go to a pretty great school, even if I don't know what I'm gonna do with my life. But that's just it, isn't it....."To live is Christ, to die is gain" (Phil1:21)
-No matter what, my God is with me always. (Mat28:20)
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious in anything; but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Phil4:4-7)
Isn't it funny how God works?
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